You are the only man who loves me!

Introduction

This story based on my big brother' story. He had a beautiful love story; however, one day, he and his girlfriend broke up with no reason. My brother was very sad in a long time. Suddenly, one day, he could re-contact his girl, but the following story was a tragedy. Hope you guys read the story attentively. 

Many thanks!

 Lan

Note: There are several elements not suitable for people under 17 years old. Readers should consider when reading.

Hanoi, 20 June 2011

You were far away from me,

I pained because of you.

You were not near me anymore,

My pain still lives in my heart, a lot.

My girlfriend had a very odd habit, she liked sleeping on her foot. I usually saw she was standing and leaning on a wall corner to sleep. So weird and funny! I never saw anyone like her before. One time, we went into a fast-food-restaurant, when I was queuing and waiting for my turn, she found a door near the toilet and stand-sleeping so well. In another case, I made my suggestion, she only smiled and put her tongue out in a cute way: "So shame!". She looked very cute that if I made any suggestions about her habit, I just wanted to see her lovely gestures. I never asked why she did that, and never had a plan to ask about that, although I knew each habit had to have its own reason. Because ... When I decided to love her, she asked me that: "Do you love everything about me, although it is absurd and make you have to think and feel sad?" I wasted too much time to answer that question.

One year, three months and twenty-one days for love. Such meaningless numbers! But those numbers were very important to me because I counted the time we belonged to each other and then finished. Until broken up, our love was still pure, no sex. Was I a fool? That thing seemed to be normal with other lovers in the modern life. Many times I thought we were very near to each other, but she always refused and pushed me far away from her. We loved each other in a peaceful way, everything made me satisfied.

One sudden day, she came to me, put a paper on my desk and said: "Application for Breaking-up!". I was astonished, had to use the adjective "astonish", not "surprise". She smiled - were still that very cute smile, far away from my reach gradually.

I kept silence for a while, then I was mad after reading her stupid application that seemed to be castigated excessively. "Are you nut? What's the matter with you? I can endure all crazy things that you made, but this is so unbearable! Are you crazy?". Her eyes were open bigger and she looked very surprised, which was everything I saw in her eyes and on her cute face. But after only five seconds, the peace returned to her lips. Again, she smiled: "Because I am a real crazy girl!"

So we broke up. The reason for this that I could not understand. An unhappy ending which I never could find the answer for why it did. I stood up and turned away that afternoon. I still thought that was a prank of my girlfriend to receive more care from me. But one thing I forgot, she was different to all other girls, therefore, the ending of that day meant would not see again.

I waited for her messages anxiously, for the green light of her Facebook account was turned on. Many rapid-fire phone calls from me to her. But nothing during two months from that fateful day.

I missed her greatly, that feeling was gnawing my heart and the sadness of missing her made me wanted to die off. I met lots of nightmares. The images of the happy days with her always appeared in my mind that seemed to burn my brain to ashes. I comforted myself, I was extremely different more than before. Everything was the past. Why did she leave me? For what? I made friend with alcohol many times.

On the first day of the third month from the day she left me, I tried to call her once more time with a bad mood. A lovely sound but gentle and weak from the opposite wire: "Hi, honey!". The sunlight seemed to be brighter than ever, my heart seemed to jump out of my chest. I yelled as if winning the special prize of the lottery. I wore my best outfit, I could not believe we could have an appointment at a coffee shop again. She sat opposite to me, there was still very cute smile but a sickly white face, white lips, and a seedy skin. But there was a difference, she talked much more than before. When we were in love, she did not talk much. Each time we hanged out, there were only some hugs and some romantic French kissed. Mostly, I made jokes for her to laugh. When I told her I was tired, she told me some funny tales. In the cold winter, she surprised me with a handmade woolen scarf which she knitted to give me. In the cold winter, she called me at very late night and gave me a super big and heavy cotton blanket with the handmade cover made by her. She was attractive to me because of those homely and lovely cute things.

At that time, many of my friends asked me why I loved her, I laughed all the times: A girl could make a boy changed himself to be more harmonious with her personality, that was not a mediocre girl, right? To flirt her, I vowed to break up with a lot of habits. Like climbing a high mountain, many people advised me that I could not climb to the peak, but I did not care, I continued to climb because it was too high, had no choice to quit when I was climbing to the middle. There were billion and one reasons to be fell in love, and many of them could not be explained.

"You always think me as an angel, but in fact, I never can be an angel, although I really want to be". Her voice pulled me to the reality, with a hot coffee and her passionate eyes. She laughed when I looked at her eyes. She continued to talk much, continued to monologue about something I did not understand much. We stood up, get out the coffee shop that painted red in the old quarter. She wanted to walk around the old quarter. She whispered something with the guard of the coffee shop, then we walked.

- "I really want to be in bed with someone!".

- "What do you mean?" (I glanced up at her).

- "Ahhh, I just want to know my feeling if I get close with a man." (She laughed).

- "Should we go home now? So late". (Hihihi was her laugh sound)

- "Uhm, OK." (I looked at my watch).

That day finished like above. She was difficult to understand more than before. Or I never understood her, didn't I? I was not sure. After that day, I and she texted to each other as seemed as nothing happened with us, nothing interrupted our love. On a sudden day, she told me that she wanted I and her to go to a motel and did that activity together. I scared, scared the change of the mysterious girl who I loved. We met each other at the red-painted-coffee-shop in the old quarter again, I requested an explanation from her, she laughed ... then I declined her invitation. Actually, there was not a man who did not want to enjoy the pleasure when did it with his girlfriend, I was no exception. But for me, not too unexpected that strange, so nonsense and sudden like the way she made. We decided to stop keeping in touch.

One month later, I received a message from her that she was in the hospital. I very hurried to visit her. The room was full of the smell of antiseptic intensely, and plenty of white bedsheets. She sat back on against the window with a distant vision. She did not look up me: "I could not stand-sleep anymore because I am not strong enough to stand!". I sat close to her, held her hand tightly. She looked down to my hands and smiled: "I love you so much, honey!". "Mee too, you know that!" - I talked to her. She, one hand held my hand tightly, one hand put on my lips like she wanted to talk that: "You do not need to talk that, I understand". Then she smiled, very cute smile. My throat was like something blocked, choked and speechless.

- "Remeber to meet me tomorrow, honey!"

- "Of course, I will visit you every day, no worry!"

- "Do not ask the doctor anything!"

- "But ... but ..."

- "Please promise, honey!"

- "... OK. I promise, my cute kitty!"

The day after, I came to her, she was standing and leaning on the window, seemed to make a difficult effort to still stand. Looking she was so weak that made me full of emotion. I wanted to ask the doctor but I already promised her. 

- "I do not want to ask ... but what happen to you? Look you so weak! I am so worried about you!"

- "Hihi" (she laughed). "I will recover soon. I have just had a surgery so I am weak. You do not need to worry about me too much."

Her answer and lovely smile reassured me little bit, I was happy to see her smile. 

- "You often grumble about my stand-sleeping habit."

- "Uhm. But you look so cute in that posture!".

- "I want to tell you my story but only for you!" (I nodded)

...

- "When I studied in secondary school, there was a woman, who was older than me ten and a few years old, lived near my house..."

- "Uh, go on!"  

- "Do not say "Uh" anymore, let me talk!" (She slapped me slightly).

- (I smiled) "OK keep going, I am sorry!"

- "I and she matched to each other very well. I often talk to her, she did not get married, lived alone. She often visited me at my house. When I was in grade eight, I met that thing ..."

- "Hold on, what does "that thing" mean?"

- "It's periods"  (She shamed).

- "Ah OK, and so on?"

- "No one helped me at that time, I really scared, scared to cry (I laugh). I asked her to help me with a panic face. She told me had to go to bed; if I slept, it would stop bleeding." 

Then, my girlfriend's eyes had tears welling up then her tears overflowed. She stopped talking seemed to be blocked in her throat. She hugged me, hugged me very tightly. 

- "She raped me!" (She still cried)

I seemed to be frozen. Instinctively, I pushed her out. After several seconds, I hugged her and started crying with her. I felt disgusting about that woman, which rang take my mind. My girlfriend still cried, her tears wetted my shirt. 

- "I have a stand-sleeping habit because I scare. One time, she told me that look I very beautiful when I am lie-sleeping. Each time I lied down, I remembered that evil face. From that day, I always stand-sleep or sit-sleep, even when I am at home because I scare when I lie down, someone will ..."

She hugged me tighter, she could not stop crying.

- "I did not know if a woman could do the horrible thing like that. I told my mother, she did not believe me, she thought I was crazy, she thought I invented that horrible thing. Everyone hated me."

Why was her life so unjust? Why did she have to suffer those torments when she was too young?

- "I had to avoid her stealthily whenever I went to school. Then one day, she moved out that places, for what reason, I did not know, and did not want to know."

She continued to cry.

- "Hear hear, my shoulder hear. I love you, although whatever happened to you!"

She still cried and hugged me tightly.

- "I thought everything was over. I tried to lie-sleep. And I started loving ..." (She stopped talking for a while).

- "When I had a first love. My first boyfriend visited me at my house. The maid let him in. He opened my room when I was sleeping. Then he was on my bed, lied next to me. I resisted, but then I thought so stupid that I had to get acquainted with the feeling of on bed with a man." 

I felt like thousands of knives stabbed in my chest.

- "Then he ... after he finished ... he talked to me: "Can't believe you lost your virginity! I can not love a girl like you!". Then he left me."

Such a son of bitch! I despised that kind of man. I swore, swore that I would have killed him immediately if I had met him that time.

- "I kept silence, we broke up..."

- "Who needs that kind of man?" (My eyes were red)

- "I continued to stand-sleep or sit-sleep. I did not dare to lie down anymore. I could not resist, I scared."

I kindly wiped the tears on her cheeks, then kissed on her lips which were trembling. 

- "Then I met you. You loved me in a different way to that guy's way. You accepted me, not liked him to deny me."

I wanted to tell her that I was only a bad guy. Thanks to her, I would change to be a good man. I had to thank the god to give her to me, not she had to. I wanted to let her know I loved her very much and was paining very much to hear her story.

- "I do not care your past, I hated those brute people who hurt you. I love you, I swear I love you. I will not make you hurt anymore." 

She wiped her tears then returned to smile. 

- "I knew, I knew. But could you please promise me?"

- "Everything, talk to me, sweetheart!"

- "Could you please do not visit me within two days?"

- "Why?"

- "Just promise me and do not ask anything. You only allow to know and understand that!"

- "OK honey. I promise!" (Then I kissed her)

After two days, I returned to the hospital. The world seemed to fall down. She passed away but I did not give her last look, she passed away in silence, in suddenness, and in pain. 

People who with septicemia has very few changes to keep their lives. She fought against that critical illness resiliently until her last breath. I knew that from a doctor. She passed away in the loneliness, no friends because no one knew she was ill. Her parents also did not know. She passed away like that. She lived painfully, passed away bitterly.

A darkness covered me. 

- "She donated her eyes for another patient. Two days before, we implemented a surgery." (Said of a nurse).

The hospital took care of her funeral. I stood still and saw somewhere. The eyes of a girl who changed my life were donated to another person. Her distant look was still there. 

She left me a short letter with quiver handwriting words:

"You are the only man who loves me! I thought I would win against it. I just wanted to break up until the day I gain the victory against the illness and against the fare of mine, then I will see you again. However, I realized that I could not. I just only won against my fear. I did not scare anymore because I knew you loved me. I wanted to let you know that YOU ARE THE ONLY MAN WHO LOVES ME!"

Sleep well, my honey,

Love you, take pity on your destiny.

Living in wretched,

Passing with bitterness.